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随风而逝-Timmy@Shanghai一路独行
October 01 下辈子,你还爱我么?心痛到不能呼吸,是的,我真切的感受到了。
很遗憾,故事的情节按照原来的设想一步步发展,却因为一句话毁于一旦。一切回到原点,不,比原来还要糟糕百倍。
我没有欺骗你,真的没有,我努力在让母亲去接纳你,一切都看起来那么顺利。
是的,一切都很顺利,可惜因为母亲的一句话,因为你一时的冲动,一切变得如此糟糕。
母亲不是别的女人,我可以和她吵和她闹,但绝不可能做到从此不相往来。
你看不到我的努力,看不到我的委屈求全,结果伤害的是我们自己。
我很悲观,看不到将来,看不到希望,看不到光亮,我只知道,一切都完了。
我们是相爱的,但是或许上苍冥冥之中要为我们设定诸多坎坷和磨难。可惜,连我的信心都开始动摇,我一点信心都没有。
生活还是要继续,我却不知何去何从。
母亲终归是我的母亲,纵有万般怨言,我却又能如何?
你太傻太不应该,亲手毁了我安排得近乎完美的剧本,可惜,或许你还不自知,还在习惯性地指责我。
这辈子,我们还能有机会在一起么?
我不知道,我只感到伤心和难过。我生命中最重要的两个女人在我面前横眉冷对,我却情何以堪。
一边是爱情,一边是母亲。上帝啊,您为何给我如此难题?您可否给我答案?
她们都不能理解和体谅我,或许惟有上帝您才能懂得可怜我。
过去的我纵有万般不是,可如今,我当真竭尽所能让她们俩相互认可,可惜,命运再次和我开了玩笑。
又有谁能明白我的无奈,你们只是习惯地指责我,好吧,我承认,都是我的错。
你们该都满意了吧?把我逼疯才是你们最终的目的是吧?好吧,相信我,会如你们所愿的。
我会走的,逃离得远远的,让你们再也找不到我,找不到你们的儿子和爱人,这样,你们应该就满意了吧。
下辈子,如果还有的话,你还爱我么?
下辈子,如果还有的话,你能多体谅我么?
下辈子,如果还有的话,上帝或许不再如这般作弄我们,是吧?
June 29 Girl's death sparks rioting in Chinese county这个国家,有时候真的很让人绝望。
Source: Reuters
(Adds details from rights group, paragraphs 9-10)
By Chris Buckley BEIJING, June 29 (Reuters) - Thousands of rioters torched police and government office buildings in southwest China on Saturday, in unrest triggered by allegations of a cover-up over a girl's death, residents and state media reported on Sunday. About 10,000 people mobbed government offices in Weng'an county, Guizhou province, on Saturday afternoon demanding justice over the teenager's death after her body was found in a local river, a resident said. "Local residents were very angry about the injustice exercised by local authorities," the resident, who is an official at a local government office, told Reuters by telephone. "About 10,000 people rushed to the site and totally burned down the county party office building, and burned other offices in the county government." "They also burned about 20 vehicles, including police cars," the official, surnamed Huang, said. Huang said residents were angered when authorities declared the girl had killed herself by jumping in the river. Residents believed the girl had been raped and murdered by a relative of a senior government official. "They torched the buildings to vent their anger," Huang said, adding that rioters had cut off a fire-truck's hose so that it could not extinguish the blazes. The riots escalated after police used force to disperse hundreds of students who had gathered at the county public security bureau to petition police about the case, the International Center for Human Rights and Democracy said in a faxed statement on Sunday. Subsequent clashes with riot police left one protester dead, and more than 150 injured. About 200 people, including dozens of students had been arrested in the wake of the incident, the Hong Kong-based group said. The riot had prompted the province's public security chief to rush to the scene to help restore order, Xinhua news agency said in a report released several hours after accounts of the rioting appeared on Chinese websites and blogs. People began to disperse from the site by 2 a.m. (1800 GMT) on Sunday and the county seat was gradually resuming order, the agency said. Calls placed to the public security bureau could not be connected. Staff contacted at local government offices were not willing to comment. Blogs linked to the popular Sina.com Chinese website (www.sina.com.cn) showed pictures of thousands of people surrounding a police headquarters, riot police guarding the burning shell of the building, and burnt and overturned police vehicles. Videos posted on Youtube (www.youtube.com) showed residents milling around burning, overturned cars in front of a government building. Huang said the girl's family had rejected the authorities' offer of 3,000 yuan ($440) compensation, later upped to 30,000 yuan, and residents had donated money to the family to sue local authorities. The rioting comes as China seeks to quell any unrest ahead of the Beijing Olympic Games in August. President Hu Jintao has said ensuring stability is a top priority ahead of the Games. Chinese websites quickly removed many messages about the incident, but others remained accessible. (Additional reporting by Ian Ransom and Li Jiangsheng; Editing by David Fogarty) ($1 = 6.861 yuan) June 27 老了我发现自己真的是老了,昨晚一个下雨,气温一降,今天立马歇菜。早上一到公司,就觉得头昏眼花,四肢无力。可怜我因此中午还错过了一顿大餐...更可怜的是,中午呆在交易室睡觉,一觉醒来发现大盘又是一波跳水,下午撑着把交易做完就向老板告假回家休息了...
印象中上海的夏天似乎很少有如此恶劣的天气的,这下好了,这个周末又完蛋了,本来计划好今天去mm家的,明天去报名CFA,现在一切要拖到下周末了。明天那我还是乖乖的去医院吧...
June 22 糊涂 我似乎很会犯糊涂,不晓得天高地厚,分不清好坏,或者说,有时太过幼稚。爱我的人我却往往不懂得珍惜,为所欲为,直至彻底伤透她的心。
那个女孩,或许,我知道,对我来说其实不过只是一个渐行渐远的回忆。但有时我却会无意识地去强迫自己陷入一个虚幻的情绪中,自以为多情种子,到头来连自己都不由得发笑。
在上海这么多年,我已经把自己完全融入了这座城市,在这里,我找寻到了自己灵魂的归属感,是的,我是如此地喜爱这座城市。
金茂大厦很高,高,实在是高。在38楼的办公室里,我直面着黄浦江,眼前繁华的一切,总让我意气风发踌躇满志。
然而,在上海,我终究是孤独的,但幸亏有她的陪伴,给了我鼓励与温情。纵使我一次次地放纵与幼稚,纵使我一次次地去伤透她的心,她终究不离不弃,守候在我身边。
我一直觉得自己是幸运的,遇到一个好的老板,给了我这么一个机会,让我进入了金融的领域,开始为自己的将来和事业努力着。遇到一个善良的她,容忍我的种种乖戾与放纵。
转眼间,毕业整整两年了,回顾自己的这两年,充满了混乱与不堪。但如今终于彻底地走了出来,多亏了她,让我重新站立了起来,没有再继续沉沦。
好久没有回到交大,那个美丽的校园。四年转瞬而过,却也是我所最快乐的四年。只可惜,青春不会永驻,时光也不会倒流,但有那四年,有那些朋友,有她的陪伴,有那时的憧憬与心跳,有那些回忆,也就足够了吧。
今年是自己的本命年,让我突然觉得自己已经不再年轻,是该好好规划自己的将来,无论是事业还是生活。我欠她的太多,我应该给她承诺,给她一个家,虽然如今我依然不名一文,钱包空空。但是我知道自己的责任,是的,作为一个男人的责任。
理想是用来追求的,记忆是用来回味的,但我们面对的是现实,活生生的现实。
是的,我不能再糊涂,再也不能了。
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